Alright, so because gays won the right to marry the world is going to end (when the Large Hadron Collider is turned on). But what does it mean to get married?
A 50% chance that you will lose 50% of your stuff (unless you get your prenups done right).
Some people insist that marriage is founded in the “good book;” but why not take a closer look at what the bible says — like the parts about forcing one’s daughter to marry some guy who killed your enemies. Sounds like a great idea! I will give my daughter to the first girl to get Hillary to finally give up.
So what is marriage besides being a reward for a favor?
Making sure your fuck spawn is really your fuck spawn.
Marriage comes from the same holier-than-thou mentality that demands you save yourself for your wedding night. It’s designed to ensure that your first-born boy (and only boys really matter) gets all your stuff. Thanks to the “sanctity” of marriage you “know” the woman you knocked up is holding “your” kid (but people forget that the size of human testicles are a direct result of our tendency to cheat [more info about that under cut- because it goes way off topic but is fun to read I promise]).
People seem to have this evil idea that:
Woman + Man= OK
Man + Man = FUCKING END OF THE WORLD (quickly turn on the Large Hadron Collider)
Man + Dog = apparently alright according to bible thumper logic
And leaving the best for last-
Woman + Woman = every guy’s dream / an accurate description of my love life (don’t ask- I’m just very, very lucky!)
Truthfully, marriage is about rights — originally the succession of property rights, but now legal rights as well. For example, if a gay person is hospitalized, as things stand currently, their life partner would not have the right to visit them, much less have any say about their care.
Some insist that civil unions are the same thing by a different name, but gays who have suffered from lack of legal standing know better, and the courts in California finally recognized that and corrected it.
In summation (never thought I would use that once I left high school), marriage is not the sanctimonious romantic ideal that our society represents it to be. Listen up, you people who have been vigorously thumping those bibles, please, please, please, wake the [tirade of expletives that even I refrain from putting on the web] up! Two same-sex people getting married are not going to “ruin marriage” — Britney Spears already beat those “damn dirty gays” to that.
So if any gay couple wants to have a nice wedding, go for it; just don’t let me catch the garter (or bouquet, for that matter) — I tend to be bad luck when I do.
-Magus-
On Thursday, May 15, 2008, the Supreme Court of California came down with a momentous ruling that’s reverberating around the country: it is illegal to discriminate against gays’ and lesbians’ civil rights, including the right to marry, based on sexual orientation. The court ruled that the state Constitution of California made such discrimination illegal, and suggested that the laws against same sex marriage were equivalent to the anti-miscegenation laws of the 20th century that made it illegal for mixed race couples to wed. They also suggested that the difference between civil unions versus actual marriage is the same “separate but equal” mentality of the notorious Jim Crow laws that relegated African Americans to the back of the bus and to their own segregated schools and water fountains.
Right wing bigots have vowed to put a constitutional amendment on the November ballot in California. Changing the state Constitution to make same sex marriage illegal would have the effect of negating the Supreme Court’s decision, which is based on the existing law as represented by the current Constitution. 694,354 names are required on a petition to get the amendment put on the ballot for November. Governor Schwarzenegger, however, supports the court’s decision and has vowed to uphold the ruling, declaring that he will not support an attempt to amend the state Constitution.
The controversy started in 2004, when the mayor of San Francisco had his city hall start issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples, and marriage ceremonies continued for about a month before the state supreme court stepped in to put a temporary halt to the issuing of licenses pending Constitutional review; the state courts invalidated all the licenses that had been issued. It has taken until this past Thursday for the matter to final resolve in this historic ruling.
Let this be a reminder to everyone: this November’s presidential election is of crucial importance, because of the U.S. Supreme Court justices that the next President will be choosing. Unlike Califorinia, we currently have a conservative majority on the Court; if we don’t get a liberal in office, further conservative appointments may result in the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Brown v. the Board of Education, and any number of other 20th century victories for our civil liberties, rolling us back to the dark ages.
See also: Tom Paine
National Organization for Women (NOW)
The text of the California Supreme Court’s historic 4-3 decision can be read here.
Other sources: The Progress Report [progress@mx3.americanprogressaction.org]
Here we go the first Dark of the Moon Crone Cast. Vivienne D’Avalon and I’s first podcast together, we go over things from this Election, to Nanobots, to Scientology vs. a group called anonymous, to the FBI taping your Tubes. For the music clip “W’s Duty” by Jonathan Coulton go here.
Or May Day which ever you like. So hopeful you can dance around the May Pole (or what ever you want to call it or dance around) and enjoy The Great Rite. Also because he wrote Still Alive, you should check out Jonathan Coulton’s website and maybe head over to the First of May Song (because we all like fucking outside). So get the free mp3 while you can.
-Magus-
PS. Unless this computer crashes, we got something coming when the moon goes dark…
